Thai Missions Library

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Crossing Over Well

Crossing over into another culture is not easy, and many people don't really succeed to a point where they feel comfortable living in a new culture. There are so many adjustments to make in learning a new language, mannerisms, world view, and ways of relating that some people find the effort and the adjustment required to be more than they can handle. Even very intelligent, highly motivated and adaptable people can find that the process of adapting to another culture can defeat them. I have seen very capable and dedicated people such as doctors and other professionals find that learning a new language can be too hard, and learning to understand the way of the people in their new culture is so difficult it's like trying to eat with chopsticks wearing gardening gloves.

What makes a person succeed in working in another culture? Is there a secret ingredient which makes it more likely for a person to become truly comfortable living in a culture which they did not grow up in? We recently had a session with the psychologist who debriefs our workers who return after some years living and ministering in a foreign country. Her observation was that those who had a sense of "play" about living in another culture were more likely to have a positive outlook. In other words they were able to retain a sense of humour and "fun" in their experiences even on occasions that for someone else might be hurtful or extremely embarrassing. Some people take themselves too seriously and feel that their mistakes prove that they can't adjust. Those who do well can laugh at themselves and try again.

While this might not seem to be a very "spiritual" way of assessing someone's suitability for cross-cultural service, it is worth thinking about. Often when we interview candidates we are looking for people who have a serious long-term commitment. When we screen people we look for a sense of "call" to test someone's commitment to overseas work and being able to persevere in the language and culture learning. Even if they last many years in ministry, this may not guarantee success if they have not made any friends or gained the respect of the local community that they are working in. The worker who is able to laugh at herself, learn from her mistakes, apologize and not take herself too seriously is more likely to be able to succeed in terms of building relationships with people from other cultures.

It is all about how we react to the circumstances around us. Adjusting to another culture will often leave us feeling confused, bewildered and even humiliated. Learning to speak another language as an adult means having to return to being like a child in expressing even the most simple concepts. I clearly remember my own embarrassment when I behaved or said something silly in a Thai social situation that make our Thai friends laugh out lo Crossing Over Well ud, or even offended. It certainly helped if we could laugh at our own clumsiness. If we are able to be gentle with ourselves, laugh at our own mistakes and apologise when needed then it makes the cross-cultural journey so much easier.

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